Emerging from Chaos

To say things have been crazy lately would be a gross understatement.  Kind of like saying the surface of the sun is a little warm.

I'm not sure how or when things fell apart.  Nothing catastrophic, mind you.  But when disorder creeps into my existence, it creates a perfect storm of introversion, procrastination and OCD.  The result - I become an ostrich with her head buried in the sand.

But it's getting better.

I've done little with Cricket.  I've done less with Bleu.  Most of my energy has been devoted to LillyToo.  LillyWho?  No, not horse #3.  Good Lord, I'm not that crazy.

Lilly is a coming 4yr old QH mare belonging to a good friend of mine.  We've worked out a deal for Lilly to stay at my barn and get a bit of a groundwork foundation and get her ready to be properly started under saddle.  I know my limitations so I have no intention of putting a leg over this mare's back.  I'll take responsibility for screwing up Cricket but I won't add another to the list of casualties.

I have to say I'm totally in love with Lilly.  It's a good thing she's short or I'd be tempted to steal her.  She's a lovely balance of all the horsenalities.  She's forward but not a run away.  She's playful but not a total pest.  She lacks enough confidence so as to look for leadership but she's not worried and fretful.  She pauses to think but her introversion is shallow and she digests thoughts very quickly.

We have two main issues:  maintaining connection between her brain and her feet in motion and looking to the human for guidance/leadership.  Both are coming along so nicely.

I'm glad the days are getting longer and warmer.  I cannot neglect Cricket and Bleu just because a new project has come along.  I can only avoid "middles" for so long!

With Cricket my current plan is to abandon all formal groundwork.  It's not getting better, in fact it's getting worse.  So we're taking long trail walks with a savvy string fashioned into a collar and a feather line for a leash.  We're playing at liberty with the clicker.  I want to ride but I just don't want the pressure of my freestyle audition right now.

I want to start riding Bleu.  I've not really taken her out of the arena since last fall.  I need to see if she helps my confidence for trail riding.  If not, I'm not sure what I'll do . . .

Neither Pleased Nor Satisfied

I am in an unhappy place with my riding.  Not with my actual rides, with my riding in general.

I feel as if I don't have general control over Cricket's direction and speed.  She doesn't get the whole idea of "maintain gait, maintain direction."

The litany of reasons for this sad state of affairs is a long and pathetic one.  Cricket's bucking, my confidence; Cricket's headshaking, my confidence; Cricket's dominance, my confidence.

It seems she has all these little ways of putting me just enough on edge that I don't push the issues that need to be pushed.

Horsenality is not an excuse. It is a piece of information that gives us a strategy.

How much have I not been taking this to heart?  I am still making excuses for Cricket because she's a smart, LBI.  I'm still using the excuse that she's a LBI to cover up how much I hate repetition and pattern work.  But here we are, preparing for a L3 Freestyle audition and I cannot elicit a consistent trot or a rhythmic walk.

I think it's time for a warm glass of "suck it up and deal with it."  I think it's time to get serious about pattern work.  She's done great with the FTR and Corners Game.  It's time to take it to the next level and start tackling the Cloverleaf.

Learning to the Left

My latest endeavor in the spirit of never ending self improvement: Learning to write with my left hand.

The main reason for this effort is to try and narrow the gap between the proficiency of my right hand and the awkwardness of my left.  It was real but negligible before I broke my arm; it's significant and more inhibiting since.

I hatched this idea a few years ago but never really followed through with it.  More and more I'm becoming aware of a strong preference for my right hand.  My stick is almost always in my right hand, I feel more nervous following the rail to the left and I seem more unbalanced cantering on the left lead.

I was in physical therapy on and off for a year trying to rehabilitate my left wrist after the break.  While I regained more mobility than even my doctor expected, I'm left with permanent limitations.  I decided to learn to write with my left hand as a low-stress way to become less one-sided.

I bought one of those writing tablets.  You know, the kind little kids use when they are first learning to write.  I started out the same way my Mum first taught me to write.  I printed out a neat row of  upper and lower case As with my right hand and then neatly traced over them with my left.

I have about 3 pages of As at last count.  The upper case was fairly easy but the lower case is quite troublesome.  Changing the angle of the paper, adjusting my grip on the pen - nothing seems to make the letter flow easier onto the page.  Each attempt is awkward and ugly.

I began to think about this project in terms of my horsemanship.  After all, it started as a way to improve my overall tool handling skills.  So how could I use what I know from my Parelli journey to improve my penmanship journey?

I started acknowledging the things that were right.  I identified the element of the letter that was plaguing me and instead of writing "a" I focused on just the oval, repeating the circular motion until it felt more natural.  Oddly enough, by the end of the line I had several left-handed letters that looked remarkably like their right-handed counterparts.

I am finding this little project to be more intriguing and revealing than I could have imagined.

A Glimpse of Things to Come

This weekend I caught a glimpse of things to come.

Our weather was gorgeous.  Saturday was sunny with a lovely breeze and our temperatures topped out in the low 60s.  It was a beautiful breath of the Spring that is waiting on the other side of Winter.

I started my play with Bleu and Cricket on-line, together.  After a little confusion, I managed a very cool circle game with Cricket cantering in front and Bleu trotting behind.  I finished our tandem play with sideways from Zone 1, asking Cricket to push Bleu and help her understand.  Both horses did very well and I'm excited to see the prospect of playing with them together.

I saddled Cricket and decided to ride with one rein and a stick.  It went well but I just wasn't feeling like I wanted to push my envelope.  I've cantered Cricket with a stick and the reins but I felt like I survived it more than enjoyed it.  I've allowed her to canter while I was "hands-off" the reins and holding a stick but that was her idea.  It's always good when it's her idea.  I just get a little queasy when I think about cantering with just the sticks.

I decided I just wanted to have fun so I exchanged my stick and lead for clip reins and off we went.

Cricket is becoming a bit of a canter-aholic.  It seems to be her favorite gait, almost as if she's making up for all the times I wouldn't let her canter.  I have to admit, I'm becoming a bit of a canter junkie myself.  As if I'm making up for all the times I wanted but just couldn't trust my horse.

We just sort of monkeyed around and then I got a wild idea: I decided to try out my spurs.  Just to play a little with my yield isolations.  I dont' fully trust the stability of my lower leg to do much else.  I strapped them on, hollered out, "hey, y'all hold my beer and watch this" and got on.

Holy Crap!  That little mare can MOVE!  Cricket did really well.  I knew she would.  She's ready for this and, to some degree, so am I.  We did some HQ yields, some sideways and some forehand yields.  We rode around a little but I was nervous about how much the spurs were touching her and that, more than anything else, was making her cranky.  I stopped and asked for a quality HQ yield to both sides and then took off the spurs.

Then we took off again.  By this time, Ed was in the arena, cantering Slingshot so I decided just to follow him.  Whatever he did, wherever he went - we followed.  It was so much fun and it gave enough purpose to make it a little more meaningful for Cricket.

At one point, we were on a left lead, doing circles at the back of the arena.  Cricket finally relaxed and just arced into the bend.  It was awesome.  I told her, "good girl" and she slammed on the brakes and damn near pitched me over her ears. I had to laugh, however, because I've apparently taught her that "good girl" means "get a cookie" so it's my own fault!

Next we did some weaves and I tried, oh how I tried, to do the weave at the trot but Cricket just kept breaking into the canter.  I think she would have done flying changes if I'd had the coordination to ask for them!  I'll admit I probably didn't try hard enough to enforce the trot.  Mostly because I was laughing so much at my little LBI Energizer Bunny.

I did, finally, manage some trotting on her but the minute I thought about the canter, BAM! we were off again.

The coolest thing was that I could see how far we can go together if I can just pull some things together on my end.  I rode Cricket for about 2 hours with some LONG stretches of canter and she was so ready to go.  By the end of the ride, she was pretty sweaty and was breathing heavy but even in her cool out she was ready to canter at the drop of a hat.

I have a list of things to work on:

• First and foremost, either disassociate "good girl" with treats or find a different phrase to praise and encourage her while riding.  I don't like my "saddle turned ejector seat."
• Get control over my body while I ride.  When we canter, I still feel a little like a marionette in the hands of an epileptic.  I seem to have lost all I gained from my Pilates training.  Maybe my break is over and I need to get my butt back in the studio.
• As much fun as our canter is, I need to take control over the gas pedal.  Having her canter when she wants is no different than having her not go when I want.  It's all about who's foot is on the pedal and right now, it's not mine.  I'm fortunate that I can stop her with little more than a breath out but we need also to be able to transition from one gait to the next, up AND down.

All in all, though, I enjoyed just having some fun.  Just doing something with her and not "working" on anything.  I think we have good things in our future together and I'm excited to see more of what's down the road.

Yippie Yi Yea

Last night was a fan-damn-tastic ride.  There's just no other way to put it.

I'm becoming more comfortable with the sticks.  So much so that I wish I'd done this ages ago.  In fact, I wish I'd been riding with sticks from the very beginning.

It's not so much that pushing Cricket is better than pulling her or that the sticks reinforce other cues.  It's that riding with sticks has been such a catalyst for letting go.

Last night, while working on Follow the Rail at a trot (one stick, reins looped on the saddle horn), Cricket broke into a canter.  More than once.  I knew it was coming, I could feel her gather for the transition.  And I just allowed it and rode it back to the trot.  I rode the whole event without grabbing for the reins or the saddle horn or doing anything other than going with her.

I put down the sticks to work a little more on our canter and I was able to ride her left lead with more relaxation and flow than ever before.  We did a few runs through the Question Box and then some FTR at the canter.  I played with both leads and then played with some simple changes through the center.  Our downward transitions are a little awkward but our upward transitions are great.

For the first time, I was able to ride her left lead totally freestyle.  I still don't feel in total harmony with her but that will come.  That I can even think about my shoulders and hips and lower legs is a miracle.  A year ago I was still surviving her canter.  Now I'm relaxed enough to think about what my body is doing.  It's amazing how far we've come.

Yippie Yi Yea, in deed!