Day Whatever . . .

I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. - Bilbo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings

abandon, abdicate, back out, bail out, bow out, chicken out, cop out, cut loose, desert, discard, discontinue, ditch, drop, drop out, duck, dump*, dust*, flake out, fly the coop, give up the ship, kiss goodbye, leave, leg it, let go, opt out, pull out, quit, run out on, screw, ship out, stop, storm out, surrender, take a powder, take a walk, throw over, vacate, walk out on, wash hands of, withdraw, yield.

In other words, I give.  I simply cannot commit to my 30 day program.

I had a fairly major meltdown this weekend.  I came to the conclusion that I am simply exhausted.  There are too many pulls on my time and resources and I simply cannot handle it.

So I'm cutting back, scaling back and in other words just learning to say, "No."

After pulling myself out of the ashes of my crash, I spent good time with both horses on Sunday.  I gave Cricket a medicated shampoo bath in the hopes of alleviating whatever is causing her to rub raw spots on her neck.  She stood like a champ for her bath, even when the hose was on her face and between her ears.

Later the same day, when it was cooler and the humidity slightly less oppressive, I returned to the barn to play with Bleu.

We did a little Touch It on the 12' and she is quite eager to find her cookies on the different obstacles in the arena.  I had Ed move one of my bridges into the arena so we played with that in simulation for trailer loading.  I need to be diligent about this as my plan is to take Bleu to fall camp and I want the trip to be as uneventful as possible.

I switched to the 22' and we played with some Figure 8 and circles.  For the F8, I just want her to find the draw as she comes around the cone - she tends to zone out a little when in motion.  On the circle game, she offered more relaxation and less anxiety.  I asked for a little bit of canter with some "mirror me" and her transitions were racing and somewhat unbalanced but relatively unemotional.  I think she's starting to figure out I want an upward transition and not just more speed.

I saddled her and rode her.  There were other horses in the arena and though none were her pasture-mates, I think she felt a little more secure.  We played with gait and direction, whoa and go.  She gave me some good, sustained trotting and I jumped off and called it a win.

Yesterday I mustered enough energy to go feed.  When turning them out, Bleu paused in her gateway and I came in to scratch her.  For the very first time since she came into my life, she let down her reserve and thoroughly enjoyed the scratches and attention.  That just made my day.

I'm still committed to playing with them both - on some level, even if that's only friendly game.  I just need the breathing room to just be.

Day 11-17: Trying to Catch Up

I promise I've been doing more than I've been writing about. Honest.

The only two days, not counting my official week off, in which I did nothing with the horses was Day 14 and Day 16. Sunday I just didn't fee like it. Tuesday I was at work until after 11pm.

The time is all mashing together and I've slept since all this happened and each day I get older and it feels as if my memory gets squishier.

I've been trying to focus on short, provocative sessions with Cricket. We've been playing with the F8 pattern since my return from the Columbus Parelli Across America event. I cannot say the success has been phenomenal. In fact, session three seemed to take a few steps backwards. Not too worried, however. It's light years better than it has been. Maybe after this seven day program I'll learn another key and the next time we pick it up, it will be even better.

On the days I didn't play with her, I've tried to spend some rapport time with Cricket. Her new ritual is to find me after I've opened all the gates to turn out all the horses and hang back for some scratchy time. I love this part of my day. I love seeing that she needs me for something.

I've been playing more with Bleu, working to build our relationship and partnership. Overall, I believe she's beginning to see me as more of a leader. She seems less reluctant to exit her stall and enter the arena. She seems less concerned about leaving the herd.

I took her on a trail walk with the barn owner. She did great until she realized just how far away we were. I'm sure we inadvertently crashed through a threshold or two. But I'm not wholly convinced Bleu knows how to honor her own thresholds so that's now on our "to do" list. I played with her until her focus came back to me and we headed back tot he barn with enthusiasm but relative calm.

A day or two later, I took her out again. With strange horses and closer to dusk. She hit a major threshold not too far from the barn. We worked it out, taking the time it took, and when she was calm and interested in grazing, I turned her around and took her right back to the barn.

We've been playing some in the arena - balance on the circle, sideways and feet on obstacles. She's become a champ with the tarp and we're working out the pedestal. I think I need to figure out how to get my bridges moved into the arena so we can start with something a little easier.

The other day she offered a jump and then I sent her over a single down barrel in the arena and she sailed right over. She's such a good and obedient girl!

Yesterday it was just too damn hot to do anything. It's been dry (as in no rain) but wickedly humid here. Today our temps, with the heat index, should top out around 105. So when I went out yesterday, I just walked both horses down to the other barn to hose them off and cool them down. I let them both graze while I just watched. They are so different. Bleu grazed the same 20' area while Cricket blazed a trail for the back of the paddock.

As I prepped feed, Bleu heeded the "call of the feed cans" and brought herself back to the barn. I had to fetch Ms. Independent - she knows she's going to get fed so why bother coming in when she knows I'll go get her. The nice thing, despite being on lush grass, when I called to her, she picked up her head and came to me. At a walk, but at least an enthusiastic walk.

Don't know how much I'll do this weekend. With the predicted highs, it's just not safe to over-exert the horses or myself. Who's stupid idea was it to do a 30 day program in the middle of summer?

Day 10: Got a Good Thing Going

Yesterday was my first actual play session with Cricket and Bleu in over a week. It was worth the wait!

I started with Cricket and the dreaded Figure 8. Our perpetual Achilles heel. In a very direct line and predatory manner, I decided Cricket would do the Figure 8. In a very oppositional and prey animal manner, Cricket decided I was not to be trusted.

She was super-laggy on the feel of the halter coming forward. Not normal for her. My first thought was "we're gonna' fix this right now." By whacking at her to come forward. Hmm, not the best strategy for my LBI.

I decided, instead, to adopt the "take two days" pose and just held the lightest feel on the rope. She wasn't pulling, she just wasn't following the feel. I waited. She waited. Finally, she just stepped into me. I turned away and allowed her lots of time to lick and chew.

At the Columbus event, Linda talked about the focus of tag the middle should be on the ground not on the horse. Hmm, how interesting. I was tagging the ground with the focus being on missing the horse when in fact it should have been on hitting a particular spot behind her. At first I didn't think this subtle shift in focus would matter. But I was game to try - nothing else has worked.

So we start the pattern. Slowly. Because she's LBI and that's how we start everything. Just when Cricket got this "oh boy, another figure 8" attitude, I picked a specific hoof print in the sand and just as her butt cleared that spot, I tagged the ground with intention and focus.

YOWZER! My little mare zipped out around the cone. The best part - she tried to be offended but because my energy and focus had absolutely nothing to do with her, she just couldn't be upset. As Cricket would come around, I'd get a strong focus on a specific point in the middle of the pattern and I'd build the intensity to strike just as she passed that point. It wasn't too long until she was offering a canter to get out of the way. No pinned ears, no swishing tail, no crabby mare attitude.

We stopped when I felt her to be really motivated and I just turned her out to graze in the paddock.

Next was Bleu. Right off the bat, I was very pleased with how confidently she left her stall and walked toward the arena gate. Usually she freezes when I take her away from her herd. Not this time. She walked easily into the arena but when I went to close the gate, she wanted to come out. No worries. Approach and retreat. Squeeze game in and out until she could stand confidently in the arena.

We continued with Touch It on the 12' line, using cookies on barrels and the pedestal to help her follow my focus. We're working with the feet on the pedestal but she's still a little hesitant. At least twice, during the entire session, she offered to place a foot (or two) with confidence and we walked away on those super tries.

I introduced the Figure 8, using the 22' to give her drift and room to balance herself. She sort of zones out when in motion and I want her to check back in more often. I used a Z1 interrupt to help her think back to me. I'm not sure we made big strides (well, she did, with those long legs) but I feel we ended with more connection than we started.

Circling on the 22' was interesting. I want to get the rhythm, relaxation and connection. She's pretty rhythmic and she doesn't entirely loose connection but there is little or no relaxation in her movement. At one point she blasted into a canter and was entirely too emotional about the whole thing. I was pleased, however, because we have been working on canter and I feel she was offering it, albeit in a RB way, trying to find the right answer. I tried to be polite and passive yet not push her off the cliff.

Interesting thing, she seems to prefer to dwell in front of me, rather than behind. How interesting! Cricket likes my back - taking all the pressure off. Bleu will maneuver herself to be more in front of me before she releases her adrenaline.

I was very pleased with both horses. Tonight will be low-key as I probably won't have much time. I'm hoping to get a good mix of play and undemanding time this holiday weekend

Day 4: More and Better

Yesterday I focused on building on what we started the day before. I want to be diligent and focused about taking Bleu through the levels self-assessments and really using the Patterns with her. With Cricket, it's just whatever I can do to make our on-line sessions fun again.

I started with Bleu. The arena was set up with our same Touch It pattern and I "pre-loaded" the obstacles with cookies. When I squeezed her into the arena I noticed she became rather tense. I paused to play friendly game but she wasn't relaxing. I squeezed her out and re-played the squeeze allowing her to show me her thresholds. She finally relaxed and on the next send, walked confidently into the arena.

She was more confident with the Touch It pattern and I had to use less rope/stick to help direct her Zone 1. The tarp was still ultra-scary but in a new tactic, I walked right past it between two obstacles. When she sort of pushed into me, I just moved her shoulder out and said, "don't worry, it's not about the tarp but the next obstacle." Squeezing back past it, she didn't bat an eyelash.

When we finally approached the tarp, she was a little skeptical but more sure of herself. Before long, I couldn't get her off of it! I squeezed her over it in both directions and then walked away for dwell time. She had a big, yet soft, adrenaline release and then proceeded to lick my arm and my leg!

I asked her for sideways on the rail which confused her at first but she figured it out and was nice and soft. To the left is easier than the right. We finished with another squeeze on the tarp followed by retreat and another adrenaline release.

I put Bleu back in her stall and fed her and Dillon. I asked Cricket to come up to be caught and she did so, rather willingly.

We started with the Wendy Puzzle of sideways and backwards. She remembered and we moved on. I asked for some falling leaf and canter transitions. I failed to reward one big effort and she sort of petered out a little. Oh well, sometimes we learn what works by doing what doesn't work.

She was offering me decent energy with good mental connection. I don't really remember her pinning her ears or swishing her tail at all - something she often does when I try to play on-line. I sat on the big soccer ball and dwelled with her. She offered a nice adrenaline release and then proceeded to play with the nearby cones.

I finished with a little rope-stepping friendly game and she was awesome about giving to the pressure. I couldn't be more pleased.

I fed Cricket and Etruska their measly evening rations and before I had the buckets rinsed and ropes put up, they were both done. I turned the horses out, asking Bleu to walk with me down the run and keeping Dillon out of our space. It was funny to see the horses in the adjacent runs mirroring our starts and stops. Not one horse walked in front of me and Bleu. Hmm, how interesting! As is becoming her custom, Cricket hung back until she had me to herself and we had a scratch fest.

Day 1: Here We Go Again

So here we go again. Another 30 day program. This time, with both horses, my goal is 60 sessions in 30 days. I'll need to be creative to make up the days I'll be gone to Columbus for the Parelli event. But there's the goal.

I have goals with this program. With Cricket, I want to rediscover her play drive. I want to have fun with her again. I want her to have fun with me. No small feat with my LB alpha mare. For Bleu, I need to be more structured. We are going to concentrate on on-line and freestyle so I'll use the self-assessment sheets to guide our sessions and measure our progress. Underlying this is the goal to balance her on-line canter leading to better under-saddle canter.

Yesterday was day one. It was frickin' hot. Who's idea was it to settle this part of the country? We are actually under weather warnings for the heat and humidity - something we don't usually see until August. This does not bode well for a productive summer!

I started with Cricket. I'm setting a pretty strict time limit with her - a maximum of 15 minutes of activity. I need to get a timer to help me stick to my guns. If I want to play with her, then I need to use the best she has and be done with it. More than 15 minutes, at least at this stage, is going to get into drilling and drudgery.

I cannot remember exactly what we did. I just tried to feel of her and go with the flow. I tried to be mindful of my neutral and to just play. I used some backing and sideways from zone 1. I used a little bit of a deliberate falling leaf and then some stick to me with exuberant transitions. I tried to be intense without being stick & string slap happy. At the end, I felt her put more mental and physical energy into her response. I stopped, gave her a couple cookies, took the halter off and let her graze.

I went to get Bleu. Sunday she wouldn't come to me and we had to play a little catching game in the run. I prepared for that to be the extent of our session and headed in. She came most of the way and then just stopped. So I waited. She licked and chewed and just looked at me. I used a little approach and retreat and soon she willingly joined me in the stall to be caught. She seemed less anxious about leaving the barn and I took that as a good sign.

She gets a little up when we're out in the paddock so I decided not to push the issue of keeping her feet still. That will come. I decided to use the barrels to start a figure-8. We started just going around and coming back, trying to reinforce the draw more than the drive. She did really good and I managed one trip around both barrels before moving on.

Next was circle game with transitions. Bleu is so physically uncoordinated in her upward transitions. Using what Wendy and I worked on this past weekend, I did a traveling circle game, focusing on happy neutral and coming out of neutral. As soon as Bleu tried to canter, I disengaged her and let her dwell. We did this several time in both directions. It didn't take long for her to start getting more mentally connected and she offered an awesome try - more mental than just physical - and I called that a major win.

I decided to just lead her out the gate at the back of the paddock and open the runs from there. After we were through the gate, I removed her halter and gave her a cookie. We then played just a little "stick to me" with walk and halt transitions. This is our first liberty and I was tickled pink at her willingness to be with me. I turned all the horses loose and then went back to call Cricket from the paddock out to the pasture. She finally decided to come and offered a very animated trot towards me. I stopped her as she came through the gate - just with energy - and gave her some cookies before sending her the rest of the way out.

What a good start to my new program!

Reflection on the Friendly Game

My friend Clare made a comment about anxiety and her upcoming clinic with Carol Coppinger. My response was "the best cure for something that isn't going well is Friendly Game." And then it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

This is my problem with Cricket.

So diving around the Internet and perusing the Savvy Club vault, I came across the following:

The Friendly Game #1
This game convinces your horse that you will not act like a predator and that you are friendly and can be trusted.

Hmm . . .

The principles of the Friendly Game are: Rhythm, Relaxation & Retreat. This means that you should use a nice, easy rhythm instead of sudden or irregular movements, that you should be relaxed and gently persist until your horse is relaxed; if your horse has trouble you 'retreat' which means . . . stop and wait until the horse is relaxed, etc. and then reapproach as the horse shows he's ready. [emphasis mine]

And finally

The Friendly Game is something you will use a lot. Any time you need him to settle down or know that he’s done well you will use the principles of rhythm, relaxation and retreat. That’s what the Friendly Game is all about.

And to this I say, Well, duh!

One of the things Carol mentioned during the clinic I audited this past weekend was that she is seeing more friendly game holes in L3 than anything else. It seems that as we advance and can do more, we tend to gloss over the need for increased friendly game.

So here I am wondering if this is the root of my issues with Cricket. When was the last time I told her I thought she was the best horse in the world? When was the last time I spent more time dwelling than doing? When is the last time I really considered her confidence? When was the last time I worked on the relationship?

Carol said, "putting the relationship first means winning the friendly game."

The nekkid truth hurts just a little.

Gate Friendly - For Clare, By Request

Clare has asked me to talk more about my gate-friendly program with Cricket. So Clare, here you go . . .

I have had serious issues with opening a gate from horseback. It's my fault entirely.

When I first began taking Cricket out of the arena, my biggest fear was that she would run away with me. So as soon as we'd clear the gate, I'd get her on grass and allow her to eat. What I didn't realize until the pattern was well established is that I had created a "runaway." I no longer had true control of Cricket when it came to gates.

As Linda says, "not one moment longer." But the question was how? Last fall I watched Carol Coppinger demo some awesome gate friendly using a savvy string. Looping the string around the top rail of the gate gave Carol more drift and control to help Legend understand what she wanted from him. So this gave me a tool to help establish a new pattern with Cricket.

We have just started working on this. Yesterday was day three.

There are particular mechanics to safely opening a gate from horseback. This can be - and in some cases, should be - taught first from the ground. Cricket is not a skittish or nervous horse so we've done almost all gate training from the saddle. For an excellent article on the method for maneuvering a horse around opening a gate, check out Cherry' Hill's article here.

I have broken down the steps that will result in a successful gate opening and closing. Each step requires relaxation and Cricket's willingness to stay in close proximity to the gate, not moving until requested and directed.

1. Walk up to or sideways over to the gate, my leg/torso lined up with the latch.
2. Stand quietly while I unlatch the gate.
3. Back a few steps to line up with the gate opening, staying close enough so I can keep my hand on the gate.
4. Sideways out the gate, close so as not to loose contact with the gate.
5. Yield HQ to swing around to the other side of the gate.
6. Sideways back in order to shut the gate.
7. Stand quietly to re-latch the gate.
8. Wait for the cue to move off.

Where the savvy string comes into play is that it allows us to drift from the gate without losing control of the gate. It also allows me to sit more upright while in the teaching phase of this pattern.

Cricket will line up and allow me to unlatch the gate. Our issue lies mainly in what happens right after I unlatch the gate. As I return upright, she backs up and pushes it with her nose before I ask for anything. Not safe. Not savvy.

The first part of our program was to cause her to stand still while I sat up and swung the gate. So with gate unlatched and savvy string in hand, I sat up. Cricket pushed the gate and backed up to exit. I used the string to close the gate and then I repositioned Cricket. We repeated this until she could stand still while I swung the gate out and back. Re-latched the gate, gave her a cookie and moved on.

The next session, I played with wiggling the gate, rattling the latch. Then I opened the gate and swung it a few times. No reaction. Totally casual rein. Re-latched the gate, gave her a cookie and moved on.

Yesterday we put it to purpose. I had my string ready, just in case. Did all the same things - rattled the latch, gate in and out a few times and then I asked her to move with the gate and out of the arena.

The only hiccup is in swinging her HQ around. She backed away from the gate. I held the string and asked her to come forward. No worries, back in position. She moved sideways to close the gate and stood still while I re-latched and sat up. Still relaxed, we paused for a moment before heading to the paddock.

This whole process moved pretty quick with her. Mostly because she is calm and relaxed and not at all claustrophobic. Also, controlling her emotions from the very beginning and not proceeding until she accepted the open gate with out moving. The rest will come from practice. And well timed cookies!

There are lots of ways to safely take a horse through a gate. The above sequence seems to be a very safe approach for teaching a horse to partner up for opening and closing a gate. The big thing is to remember it's a game and it's like anything else we've taught - safety and confidence are more important than actually opening and closing the gate. If you have to leave the gate swung wide, make sure you're in a situation where you can do this. Not in your neighbor's cattle field; not in an arena filled with beginner riders.

Back In The Saddle - Finally

I actually put a saddle on my horse and rode yesterday. It's a Christmas miracle in February. It's been just two weeks since my surgery and I feel pretty good.

We started with a short ground warm-up. During our recent winter weather event in which I was iced in, I started re-watching some of my SC DVDs. I watched Linda do a lesson in which she paid particular attention to the horse's attitude. Hmm, how interesting. As this was a comment on my recent Liberty audition, I decided to take Linda's techniques an see if I couldn't give Cricket a little attitude adjustment.

On the circle game, during change of direction, if she pinned her ears I gave her a pattern interrupt. I tried to be quick, effective and unemotional. For the most part I think I succeeded. I was probably late on my timing but I wasn't mean or mad. She started licking and chewing and having better thoughts on the change. We did just a little trot and canter. She was fairly responsive, not overly forward. Good enough to ride.

Because my tummy is still bruised and tender from the surgery, I actually had to get my saddle out so I could mount without causing further injury. Girthing her up, I realized how much Cricket has slimmed down over the past several months. Her girth that was on 5/6 or maybe 6/7 is now easily on 7/8. She's by no means skinny - I still cannot feel her ribs. If she stays this sleek, I may have to invest in a shorter girth.

She was good for mounting and we just warmed up at a walk. That felt good and I asked for a trot. Man, did she open up. What started as a little jog quickly became a forward, working trot. I posted her and just combed the hackamore reins - not with enough pressure to affect her but to keep me from grabbing on to anything. I alternated between "at the buckle" and combing the reins. The cool thing was that I didn't feel she was racing or bracing. I wouldn't say she was totally relaxed because let's face it, neither was I. I'm not used to her being so forward. I'm adjusting from initial fear (months ago) to unconfidence (before Christmas) to mildly unsure (is she racing and bracing or is everything okay?). Sometimes I forget to breathe and that inhibits her breathing.

All in all we only rode maybe 20-30 minutes. I was so pleased with her forward motion AND her willingness to come down with just my breath. And not slam on the brakes halt but rather melting to a nice stop. In my mind, that causes me to think she was more relaxed because she was able to maintain her connection. She also did some nice stretching under saddle.

The dismount was awkward. My muscle memory includes laying over her and scratching her belly before jumping down. Can't do that right now. I got a little tense and managed to waller off of her. I think I stressed my surgery site because it's a little more tender today than yesterday. But not bad enough not to ride today.

Becoming Particular

Something I learned from my play session with Etruska is the importance of being particular. You see, I know about the importance of being particular. But there is a difference between knowing and learning.

On-line has become my weakest savvy. I've used it too often to make Cricket do something. I need to concentrate on the line as communication rather than control. I need to feel the line as a link between my leadership and Cricket's mind. The key to this is particularity with out criticism.

Bringing her out for the farrier, she was no sooner out of her stall than she was diving for the loose hay in the hallway. Hmm, how interesting. When I ride her out of the arena, she quickly dives for the grass. Time to do something about it. I asked her to wait at the door to the tack room while I got a brush and pick to clean her muddy feet. She immediately headed for the grass right around the corner. I used the lead rope and gave her three sharp bumps with the snap. No emotion just a "nobody said you could eat." She licked and chewed and for the rest of the session, she stood without moving one foot towards the grass. Hmm, how intersting. After the farrier was done I lead her to the grass to allow her some out time. She followed me and I had to actually send her out to eat. Hmm, how interesting.

In my play session later that evening, I used the same particularity. We worked mainly on squeeze game in two different manifestations. I started by asking her to extend her squeeze line using cone markers along the fence. When we started with a 20' squeeze and everything was fine - send through the squeeze and disengage around the cone - until we stretched to 40'. Cricket cut in sharp in front of the cone. With a firm but non-emotional hand, I stopped her and pushed her past the cone and around it. She went completely internal. I told her she was okay and just allowed her to dwell. It took ages - or what seemed like ages - until she finally squared up. Then more waiting until she released the tension and licked her lips. I repositioned her and sent her the other way - the importance of both directions. She was hesitant in her send but went around the cone. More dwell time but a faster lick and chew. One more send, this time with impulsion. She went straight down the wall, passed the cone, disengage, turn, face and wait. I dropped to the ground, facing away from her. She licked and chewed and eventually came up beside me and put her head against my shoulder.

Our next squeeze was straddling a pole - a 4" x 4" timber we have in the arena. She was incredibly calm about putting her hind foot and then her front foot across the pole. Again, she went internal and I waited, asking her to maintain the straddle, until she licked and chewed. Two or three repetitions and she was soft and accepting.

We finished with some bareback riding, using the CS for downward transitions. I need to work more on bending her with the stick. She became upset and started biting the CS. Hmm, need to ponder that and figure out how I can help her.

I think this particularity may be the key to picking up the quality of our on-line. With any luck, by the time the good weather comes around and our fields dry up, I may have enough quality in my ingredients to get some good 45' line work out of her.

Parelli Pony Party and Post-Poned Plans

Cricket, two years ago at fall camp, playing in Carol's outdoor playground

Saturday was fan-damn-tastic. For the past three years a small group of us from fall camp have been promising to get together. Karen and Margaret live only 45 minutes from where I board and Becky and Genia are local. Saturday we finally managed it and by the end of the day we were kicking ourselves for waiting so long.

We started with some ground play in the outdoor paddock. The space I set up for my L3 online audition has just become our outdoor play space. I had Cricket on the 45' and everyone else was on the 22'. We played with the toys and just enjoyed being with each other. I eventually slipped Cricket's halter off and we played at liberty. She gave me some nice circle game with good draw. We did some yo-yo over a jump. I didn't push her too hard. We are still rebuilding our liberty confidence and I wanted to prove to her I was a good leader.

We broke for lunch and when we returned it was time to ride. We spent a little time in the arena. Karen and Margaret have not ridden much away from home (other than camp) and Margaret was nervous as was her horse. I had Genia watch me with my cantering. Though I only did one circuit of the question box on the left lead, it felt good and I stopped on the positive note. I'm trying hard to preserve my cantering confidence and so far it's working.

We decided to ride outside the arena in the paddock where we had played in the morning. Margaret is very unconfident outside the arena but she wants very much to trail ride. We all helped her feel safe and gave her space and encouragement to trust her horse and provide him the leadership he needed. We were just walking around, using the obstacles and having a grand time.

At some point I started goading Genia to jump. In her younger days she took 4' fences with or without a horse. Despite the lapse of time, her body remembers and she is just beautiful over jumps. After rising to my "dare" she turned the tables and sent the challenge back my way. I said, "No way!" The first time I ever fell off a horse was when I began jumping and it's made me slightly afraid of jumping. Genia kept it up and finally I agreed. Margaret lowered the pole and I walked Cricket over it twice before attempting anything else. I then turned her towards it, asked for the trot, grabbed mane and kept my eyes up. Cricket was a little wobbly but she jumped the rail and continued on at the trot.

WOW! I jumped my horse. In an open paddock. Without anyone holding a safety line. I JUMPED MY HORSE! I know the jump wasn't big. But Cricket didn't trot over the pole. SHE JUMPED. I was so proud of myself and my horse. I decided to do it again and it was just a tiny bit better. I cannot believe it.

I know it only worked because of the time I've put in over the last weeks. I am even more eager to start my next Progressive Parelli Program with my Precious Pony. But alas and alack, it's going to have to wait. I have to be realistic. The impending holiday weekend just isn't going to allow me the time to properly start my next adventure. So the plan is to start Monday November 30. We are going to progress through the Patterns with a focus on riding. I can hardly wait!

Day 18 - Onward and Upward

I feel as if Cricket and I are on an upward spiral. For the first time in a very long time. I think a lot of things have contributed to our recent success: the support of good friends, the change in my awareness and balance through Pilates and the consistency of time spent with my horse.

I was a little nervous going out last night. Just what if Wednesday was a bit of a fluke? What if my nerves and ego get in the way and I try to force it and ruin everything I've gained? It is very hard for me to tame the "what ifs."

When I arrived at the arena, there were two other people riding. I pulled out my gear and went to get Cricket. She was happy to see me which made me feel better.

We started with our circle and it wasn't very good. She was lackadaisical in her transitions and unwilling to maintain gait. I think she felt my lack of commitment. I really wanted to get to riding and prove that Wednesday wasn't an accident.

After a short warm-up I put Cricket on the question box pattern. I started with the walk and then the trot, making sure she understood what I wanted and allowing her to dwell and lick and chew in the question box. The first time or two I asked for the canter, she wasn't with me. I think that was the best thing that could have happened. It helped me refocus on us and just go with her. Once she picked up the canter she was fantastic. I think we did two trot to canter and stop laps and then about six laps alternating between trot and canter. I actually let go with both hands and just rode my horse in a freestyle canter!

Things got a little rocky when I turned her around to work on the left lead. Historically we have more emotional brace to the left. As I reflect on it, I can see how I set her up for failure by anticipating it to be worse. I need to let those thoughts go and just ride whatever happens.

We started to the left the same way we've been doing the pattern to the right: at the walk and trot, checking her attentiveness and allowing dwell time in the box. When I moved to the canter, she picked it up the second or third time I asked. Oh, I felt all over the map. I wasn't relaxed and it felt slightly out of control. We stopped in the box and dwelled. The next time I asked for the canter the upward transition was better but I just wasn't with her and I brought her back down before we got back to the box.

I decided that was enough. I set out to trot some relaxed circles. She broke into the left lead canter and it actually became very soft and I decided to just relax into it and allow her to finish at the canter. We stopped and she licked and chewed. How could I possibly be upset with that?!

We dwelled inside one of the circles while someone else rode the pattern. Finally we dismounted and I untacked her, put her away and fed all the boarder horses.

I stayed to watch the other rider. On the surface it was good stuff. The horse was cantering around bridle-less with only a carrot stick and a neck string. He was hitting his leads about 95% of the time, cantering circles and doing some simple changes. I wondered if my little program of canter transitions was really the best approach. And then I realized how the rider was not pleased and the horse never licked and chewed. I thought about how on one of my canter circles Cricket actually shook her neck and blew out some adrenaline. And right then I knew that what I was doing was right, at least for me. Cricket is offering a relaxed canter and she's fully involved in the process. It is the transition work that will improve her canter, not the cantering itself.

Onward and upward!

Elaborating on the Circle Game

Cricket is laid up with a mild upper respiratory infection. She came home from camp with a cold. Apparently she's feeling better as she jumped (or climbed?) out of her stall this morning. It may be awhile before we can play again!

I've been thinking a lot about Circle Game since I returned from camp. Not only did we do quite a bit during our group sessions but it became a major theme in the private sessions as well.

In my first private session I asked for help with transitions into the canter. Cricket has become grumpy and either refuses to maintain the canter or goes around in a choppy four beat canter. I knew the issue was in the send but I didn't know what I was missing so I had no idea how to fix it.

My prerequisites were rhythm, relaxation and connection at the trot and a snappy back-up. I had the trot circle going well so we checked the back-up. Here was a major BFO. I could get Cricket to move out of my way but it was with tension and brace. There was no softness because I was yelling at her. Once we got that sorted out, it was time to move on. Except not so fast . . .

When I had Cricket back to where I needed her, she turned away from me. I have been reading this as unconfidence and I've been retreating and waiting until she turned back. Wrong approach! Yes, she is unconfident and turns. But it's not a fear based lack of confidence. Cricket doesn't respect my leadership and turns because she's frankly not interested in anything I have to say. Hmm, how incredibly interesting!!!!

I used three short, sharp bumps on the lead rope to ask Cricket to give me two eyes and two ears. It rocked her little world and it changed our circle game. Once I insisted she look at me, we started getting better departs. Once the departs were better, the canter was better.

It was also here that I learned how ingredients should be separated out in order to be fixed. Cricket has gotten lazy on her disengage and I tried to perfect it in the circle game. Nope. I need to accept her bring back and tighten the disengage outside the circle game. Oddly enough, as my send and allow improved, so did my disengage.

It was in another private session, not mine, that I had another BFO about the circle game. As Pat Parelli tells us over and over, horses are masters at judging distance. Not depth perception but relational distance. My friend was having trouble with her horse staying out and not getting tangled in the tail end of the 22' line. She was instructed to back the horse out to the circle she wanted her to maintain. If you want a 20' circle, send your horse from 20' away. Same for a 6' circle. Don't send them and expect them to go out further. You didn't ask for it. It was amazing the difference it made in the horse's understanding of the circle game.

The Proof is in the Foundation

In playing with the Patterns I am discovering how weak my foundation is with Cricket. I've known it for awhile but I see it now. I've been asking Cricket for more but the base of our relationship is too small to support advancement.

Thus we started our riding patterns at the very beginning. Lots of walking and trotting on a Freestyle rein. I need to learn to trust her and she needs to learn to trust me.

We started with our third session of Touch It on the 22'. To say Cricket was less than enthusiastic would be a gross understatement. I continued until she offered a positive response and then we moved on to our Circle game. Cricket is getting better with her right-to-left FLC but she's sticky on her left-to-right flying change. So I just kept setting her up to try it, giving her an opportunity and rewarding her when she picked up the right lead canter after the change. On about the fifth opportunity, she offered the FLC and we stopped and I gave her a handful of cookies.

I took her in the arena and saddled her and mounted up. She was more relaxed during mounting and she offered an immediate lick and chew when I settled in the saddle. Continuing with our patterns, our entire session was about walking and trotting on the rail. I had cones marking a path around the arena and we used them for transition markers. Some of Cricket's trotting was soft and relaxed, some not so much. I also noticed how much more she drifted to the inside when we were going around to the left. Hmm, how interesting.

I am trying to help Cricket maintain her connection during upward transitions. While auditing a PNH clinic (at least L3), the instructor said something to the effect of "if your horse doesn't respond to your seat on a downward transition, you've lost your mental connection." So that's what I'm keeping in mine when Cricket and I play with transitions. We might be doing the L1 patterns but I'm still a L3 student and I can ask Cricket to be more particular.

One thing that interested me was how much Cricket was not accepting the halt. She would stop but it was with tension. At the end of our session I had to be fairly strong with her about something - not mean or mad, just strong. I asked her to stop on the rail and she wanted nothing to do with it. After a few seconds, she would walk off or turn to the inside or whatever. I decided this was our final task, to fully halt and accept being on the rail. I knew she had some tension because in our last trip or two around the arena, she'd started flipping her head. Nothing bad but I knew she was getting stressed. I don't know how long we stood on the rail but she would say, "okay, I'm leaving" and I would answer, "no, not really." FINALLY, she stepped to the inside and I waited and she put herself back on the rail. Good enough for me. I jumped off and told her how wonderful she was.

Two more check marks on my chart and a whole bunch more to go. But I felt good on my horse. I felt more confident in asking her to trot and less like I needed the reins. Maybe I drifted a little towards micromanagement with the "stay on the rail" and I'll watch that next time. Oh, I placed the corner cones too deep and I asked Cricket to help me move them - she was awesome!

Success?

I found this picture on flickr. The photo was titled .....Maybe success lies in your next try! The photo was followed by this quote:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” ~ Thomas Alva Edison.

This is exactly what I need to keep in mind when playing with Cricket.

I was so unsure about our session on Monday. I tried to end things on my terms. Not to be demanding and not to win at all costs, but rather in an effort to convince Cricket that I am a person of significance. I discovered this idea reading a fellow PNH student's blog. She posted some notes from a lesson with a PNH instructor. So many of the things she is learning with her mare are the things I need for more successful interactions with my mare.

Last night's session was about convincing Cricket of my significance. I actually started the session on the 6' savvy string. In checking her HQ disengage, I noticed how sloppy it had become. After a little tune up, I asked her for a circle, just at the walk. She was very unsure at first so I just supported her until she was walking a soft circle. I asked her for the trot and she offered a beautiful flexed, let loose trot. I held the string with the lightest touch and she maintained a drape in the line between us.

I switched to the 45' line attached to her halter. I kept the line short so I could influence her but gave her the benefit of the doubt in using a lighter line that is more comfortable to carry. I started at the trot. It began with some nice relaxation but then it sort of fizzled into her pokey trot. I asked for a little more juice and she trotted out better. All this was very soft, with slack in the line.

The first one or two canter transitions were soft and I rewarded just a few steps of canter. Then she decided she was done with cantering and only offered her stilted, jarring transitions and her crappy 4-beat canter. How to read this? My gut feeling was that she was asserting her dominance and controlling the game. Okay, you wanna play? Me too!

I decided the rules were simple: canter one full lap with slack in the line. As much as I wanted her soft lope, I was willing to accept anything that wasn't a trot as long as she maintained gait and connection. Each time she dropped gait, I drew her in and redirected her. That wasn't producing the desired result so we changed it up a little and it became "tag the shoulder."

Holy Cow! That mare can MOVE! We got some lovely, high-powered movement through the shoulder, with all her weight on her hindquarters. After a little bit of the "cutting game," I sent her off in the canter. It was rhythmic, relaxed and connected. I had the line draped over my hand. True to the original rules, after a full lap (which was actually a lap and a half because I disengaged her behind me), I stopped her, dropped to the ground and took all pressure off.

Oh how I wanted to do it again. Mother Nature intervened to snap me out of my predatorial, direct line thinking. As I was dwelling, a storm started rolling in. I sat on the ground as long as I could. Cricket licked and chewed, nibbled the grass, licked and chewed some more and then went to grazing in earnest.

Our next play session is on Thursday. We shall see what sort of impression last night's session had on my darling Principessa.

Is It Really Asking Too Much?

There are days when I'm not too sure about all this. I feel like one of those parents who say, "I feed you, I house you, I clothe you, this is not too much to ask." I wish I could use the same logic on Cricket.

In preparing our L3 on-line audition, I've been having trouble getting Cricket to maintain the canter on the circle. As this is one of the compulsories, I need to figure out what is going on and fix it.

Yesterday, instead of working on the actual audition, I decided to separate out this one element and have a bit of a "come to Jesus" meeting with Cricket about cantering. My little mare is one heck of a challenge. Her unassuming demeanor is simply a smoke screen to lull everyone around her into a false sense of security and complacency. She can play an unsuspecting human with all the skill and finesse of a concert violinist. She has alpha down to an art form. And she manages to get everyone wrapped tightly around her little hoof. It's amazing. She could host seminars on "Getting Exactly What You Want From Anyone, Any Time and Have Everyone Loving You For It." I'm not kidding.

So I put her on the 22' line so I could be effective. I took her out into the paddock where we are going to be filming. I did everything I know to get her energy up and her tuned into the game. Once we established the canter, I noticed how she was pulling on the line. And I mean PULLING. Once or twice she had me off balance. Cricket does not need 22' of line in order to balance at the canter. She can canter on a 12' line. I realized we'd lost our rhythm, relaxation and connection. I asked her to canter until she could do so with slack in the line. She never even once offered it to me. And then she decided she was done cantering.

I finally stopped her when I could string a couple of strides together. I realize I went too long but I did not want to reward the pulling on the line. It's not like she was winded. Yes, she was sweated up a bit but not much. She was breathing deep but she wasn't winded. She stopped with immediate licking and chewing.

I have absolutely no idea what to do next. I have no idea if we accomplished something or if we took steps backwards. I have a feeling this is much more about emotional fitness than it is anything else. Weather permitting, we're going to do it again tonight. I'm going to try using a neck collar and the 45' line.

Never-ending self improvement has come to be never-ending self preservation.