Day 9: Starting Back Slowly

So I'm back from Columbus - more on that later. I'm ready to get back into my program with my girls. But not too quickly.

Yesterday was the epitome of lazy days. I don't know that I made it off my couch until I finally decided I needed to go to Target. At 5pm.

I did get out to the barn at nearly 9:00 last night. Not much time or energy for playing. But I fed everyone and just spent some quiet time with Bleu and some scratchy time with Cricket.

For Cricket, any time is a good time for me to focus solely on her needs. Would you expect less from a completely self-confident, totally left-brain introvert? I think not. Bleu, on the other hand, is more reserved and just a little guarded. Trying to groom her while she ate caused her to walk away from her food. Hmm, how interesting. I moved her food further from the door and retreated so she could finish her dinner.

I turned all the horses out and, as has become her custom, Cricket stayed back until she had me all to herself and then came in for her scratches. I'm finding it interesting how she is working a little harder for my attention now that "Big Sis" is in the picture.

Today I plan on getting back to more serious play. I learned some things this weekend that I think will help me with both horses. I promise to post on the tour event when I have a bit more time and my notes in front on me.

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program

I've decided to take an official one week hiatus from my 30 day program. This would not be necessary if I could get an extra 4-6 hours crammed into each day. Funny how that's not exactly working out for me.

Something has to give. Unfortunately that's quality time with the ponies.

This sort of works out for me since I'm going out of town this weekend. To the Parelli Across America event and Gold Summit in Columbus, OH. And I promised my best friend I'd go to dinner with her Thursday before I leave on Friday. And I promised my co-worker Lauren I'd make her birthday lunch and cake for Thursday. Which means spending Wednesday making another damn cheesecake. What on earth was I thinking?

Everybody enjoy your weekend. I'm pretty sure, once the chaos dies down, I'll be enjoying mine.

Day 8: Mi Familia

So I have decided to keep Bleu.

Call me crazy. Whatever. Right after I published yesterday's post, I emailed Bleu's owner and said I was keeping her. I haven't second-guessed the decision. Not once. Good sign.

Clare asked a good question: Does Bleu meet my needs?

I don't really have a good answer. I don't actually feel I need another horse at all. Despite the occasional frustration, Cricket and I have been doing just fine.

So here is my happy little family. Minus the cat. I spent yesterday hand grazing my girls. For Bleu this is about finding comfort away from the barn. For Cricket, it's a chance to work on becoming as wide as she is tall. For me, it's just about enjoying a peaceful summer evening with my horses.

Does life get any better?

Day 5-7: Approach Avoidance

So it seems I'm a little conflicted. Nothing new.

This weekend I experienced some serious approach-avoidance issues with going to the barn. I've been great guns and all of a sudden Whoosh! there went my motivation.

Have I mentioned I suck at "middles"? Who knew Day 5 constituted the middle of a 30 day program. Apparently I also suck at math.

I need to make the decision to keep Bleu or give her back. While I appreciate the 2 month trial period, it just prolongs the agony of the actual decision. Just rip the damn band-aid right off. Please.

Because right now she's floating in that space of mine, but not quite. And I keep talking about future plans with her, always caveated by "assuming I keep her." Well, why the hell am I making plans for the winter if I'm not going to keep her?

My plan was to finish this 30 day program, the end of which coincides with the end of my trial period. Perfect time to make a decision. But I think I just need to bite the bullet. Sign on the dotted line. Resign myself to a life of blissful pony-poverty.

I didn't exactly meet my criteria of "10 minutes of something positive and progressive" this weekend. I just didn't feel up to it. And that's okay.

With Bleu, I did some "leave your stall and the world does not end" friendly game. One day we just hung out in the hallway and I let her eat off the hay bales. Another day, I just took her into the arena and hung out while other horses "worked."

Cricket - just friendly time. We had a big first - I rode her bareback and bridless out of the arena. On a whim, I hopped on her from the tailgate of my truck. I did have the sense to put a string around her neck and take a carrot stick with me. Little good it did. Let's just say it gave me the illusion of control. Oh well. Let's just say that as long as my idea was "go wherever and graze" then she was following my leadership. But it was fun and just a little reckless and it certainly wasn't over-thought. If anything it was under-thought. I'd say that's progress - for me.

Day 4: More and Better

Yesterday I focused on building on what we started the day before. I want to be diligent and focused about taking Bleu through the levels self-assessments and really using the Patterns with her. With Cricket, it's just whatever I can do to make our on-line sessions fun again.

I started with Bleu. The arena was set up with our same Touch It pattern and I "pre-loaded" the obstacles with cookies. When I squeezed her into the arena I noticed she became rather tense. I paused to play friendly game but she wasn't relaxing. I squeezed her out and re-played the squeeze allowing her to show me her thresholds. She finally relaxed and on the next send, walked confidently into the arena.

She was more confident with the Touch It pattern and I had to use less rope/stick to help direct her Zone 1. The tarp was still ultra-scary but in a new tactic, I walked right past it between two obstacles. When she sort of pushed into me, I just moved her shoulder out and said, "don't worry, it's not about the tarp but the next obstacle." Squeezing back past it, she didn't bat an eyelash.

When we finally approached the tarp, she was a little skeptical but more sure of herself. Before long, I couldn't get her off of it! I squeezed her over it in both directions and then walked away for dwell time. She had a big, yet soft, adrenaline release and then proceeded to lick my arm and my leg!

I asked her for sideways on the rail which confused her at first but she figured it out and was nice and soft. To the left is easier than the right. We finished with another squeeze on the tarp followed by retreat and another adrenaline release.

I put Bleu back in her stall and fed her and Dillon. I asked Cricket to come up to be caught and she did so, rather willingly.

We started with the Wendy Puzzle of sideways and backwards. She remembered and we moved on. I asked for some falling leaf and canter transitions. I failed to reward one big effort and she sort of petered out a little. Oh well, sometimes we learn what works by doing what doesn't work.

She was offering me decent energy with good mental connection. I don't really remember her pinning her ears or swishing her tail at all - something she often does when I try to play on-line. I sat on the big soccer ball and dwelled with her. She offered a nice adrenaline release and then proceeded to play with the nearby cones.

I finished with a little rope-stepping friendly game and she was awesome about giving to the pressure. I couldn't be more pleased.

I fed Cricket and Etruska their measly evening rations and before I had the buckets rinsed and ropes put up, they were both done. I turned the horses out, asking Bleu to walk with me down the run and keeping Dillon out of our space. It was funny to see the horses in the adjacent runs mirroring our starts and stops. Not one horse walked in front of me and Bleu. Hmm, how interesting! As is becoming her custom, Cricket hung back until she had me to herself and we had a scratch fest.