Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~ Thomas Merton

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I've learned not to say "it cannot get any worse." It can. And it usually does.

I know, if I were to count my blessings they would vastly out-number my current trials. But I need a brief moment of self-pity. Just to get it out of my system so I can move on. I finally had a mini-meltdown at Pilates yesterday and that has helped a lot. It just needs to be about me for just a little while.

I'm feeling better today. Except I cannot find my KK Ultra Loose Ring snaffle. I cleaned it last year and "put it where I was sure to find it again." Of course the very notion is a virtual guarantee that I will never find that item again. Until I'm looking for something completely unrelated, months later, and discover the initial item, exclaiming "that's where that was!" Ugh!

I digress . . . I just feel like I have too many things pulling on my limited resources. And I need to decide what I want most. I am taking the opportunity to go look at another horse when I return from camp. If I decide this is something I want to do, what needs to give in order to afford the care for another horse?

I am also wrestling with my horsemanship journey. I just don't know how deeply I want to continue with Parelli right now. I'll never give up what I've learned but I think, maybe, it's time for something else. I just don't know. Maybe I don't need to think about it right now.


Naturally Gaited said...

What works for me, when I get in that frame of mind (known technically as "sh*t, sh*t, it's all sh*t") is to stop thinking and just do the next right thing. No big decisions.

This too will pass. Hang in there!! :-)

Lisa said...

I just - as in within the past hour - realized I was trying to make too many decisions at once with too many variables.

So I'm going to the CR clinic and I'm going to Carol's camp. When I come back, I'm going to go look at this mare. Then I'll start making decisions, one after the other rather than all on top of one another.

And some of my choices might be hard ones but if they are the right ones, it will be okay. Even if that means giving up something I thought I wanted.

Tina said...

I've felt similar feelings lately about "where to from here" with Parelli. I LOVE what I've learned, and am really happy with where Dixie is right now, but am severely lacking the motivation to continue up. I need to decide what I want to do with her, if I want to put the work into making her a dressage horse (and it would be work - for both of us to overcome her breed), keep her as a trail horse, focus on driving, or ??? Decisions, decisions.

Good choice in deciding to do things one at a time rather than all at once! I need to learn that, too!

Lisa said...

I need to work through this some more to figure out what I really want. I'm sure doing the Centered Riding clinic and the Parelli clinic back-to-back will help me figure out which I want more. Ugh! I hate being at the crossroads!