I have made a decision and I must accept the consequences of my choice. I may not complain about the decision I have made. I am free, at any time, to change my decision. I may not complain about that choice either.
Sometimes I have a hard time accepting the decisions I have made. While I won't budge on my choice, I feel perfectly entitled to complain and whine about "poor pitiful me." No more!
When I bought Cricket I didn't know enough to know that I should have walked away. Actually, I should never have gone to look in the first place. In the six years since then, I've learned a lot about my mare and even more about myself. I know enough to make a decision.
I know that horses teach humans and humans teach horses. I know Cricket and I end up at points where neither of us knows what to do.
I know Cricket has introverted tendencies. I know that she is dominant, left-brained, supremely self-confident. I know all of this mixed together makes for slower progress.
I know she is wicked sensitive. This coupled with her introversion only intensifies the challenge.
I know she is a headshaker. This is something I cannot cure. I can manage it by the way I care for her and I can try to teach her how to be more tolerant.
I know I have confidence issues and Cricket needs a confident rider.
I know I should have a nice steady been there, done that horse.
I know all of this and my decision is to keep Cricket. I love her too much. Because this is the decision I have made, I will accept the consequences of that decision. I will accept that the needs of my horse come before the goals I have for my horsemanship. I will accept that our progress through Level 3 will be slow. I will accept that my friends will accomplish things ahead of me. I will accept that I cannot have a second horse. I will accept this is my "harness" and I will endeavor to find freedom by becoming easy within these boundaries.