I love sunflowers. On my way to work, there is a field wher a farmer has planted sunflowers. The view of the field is blocked by trees and then you come around a little curve and spilling out before you is a field of growing sunshine.
I have had some rough times lately. I can hardly express how dark everything became. I have never felt so lost and desperately frustrated with my horsemanship journey. I seriously contemplated getting out of it all.
The other day as I drove home from work, I began contemplating it all. As I approached the field of sunflowers, all the flowers were bowed under the grayness of the day. I looked at the flowers and said, "Wake up little sunflowers!" I wanted so much to see their bright hopeful faces.
I've been think a lot about Cricket and the time we've spent together. I've been thinking about her headshaking and everything I'm doing to try and help her. Like the little sunflowers, I'm stooped by the clouds. But just as the reemergence of the sun will lift the flowers, I will reawaken and stand up.
Two of my dearest friends came over on Saturday and we played and rode. I was more particular in my groundwork and I was determined to be more accepting during our ride. We played with some rider/horse biomechanics for a warm-up. I incorporated some of the techniques on impulsion from the latest Mastery Manual and I just endeavored to enjoy my horse.
Cricket twitched her head a few times but it was mild and not sustained. I'm not sure what caused her recent episodes of headshaking. I may never know. I may need to come to terms with the fact that she is a headshaker and this will, at times, affect what we can do. I need to develop the emotional fitness to realize I cannot cure her but I can help her.
I'm super-excited about camp, now. Carol has offered to help me in any way she can and I just feel better about the whole adventure